did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
