3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
