cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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