So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
