I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
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My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
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I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you