Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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