My brain says no but my pants say off.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
