I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
