Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Girls should come with a carfax report
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
