was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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