if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize