Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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