i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
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