sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
