Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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