with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
