I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
