I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
