how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
and she was petting her beer can
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
