I hope mine doesn't look like that
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
