is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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