mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
