She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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