Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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