I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
