You're so nebulous sometimes
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
