I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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