Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
We were destined to go to rehab together
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize