i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
