I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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