my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
