we're chasing vodka with high fives
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
