so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
