my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
my sisters under your porch take her home
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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