Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
