I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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