She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
