I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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