69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
