Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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