And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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