thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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