I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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