so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
