I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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