it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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