At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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