He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
