his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
