i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
