Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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