I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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