Porn is love you can see.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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