Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
