Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
