Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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