Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
