If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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