She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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