Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Randomize
