she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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