Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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