So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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