Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Duck Duck Cougar?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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