I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
